Fresh air. Blooming flowers. Hope for good things to come.
Each spring, my English class moves outdoors. Winter lasts forever. Fresh air is good for the soul. The assignment is simple. Carefully study your surroundings. What smell invades your nostrils? Does anything catch your eye? Do you hear something, now that you are actually paying attention? There is no structure for this assignment. Pencil. Paper. You. Put your pencil to paper and let loose the sensory details that overtake your mind. As an extension, students can describe how an object from their surroundings might parallel what they have experienced in life. Students appreciate the freedom of roaming the school campus and their writing oftentimes shows it. The poem above is one such example. With the student’s permission, he asked that I share anonymously to raise awareness. This piece was written early in my teaching career and definitely changed my perspective on the students I encounter daily.
Perspective Change
First of all, let me say this. Being a dad of three girls has totally changed my perspective of how I approach and understand kids. I am my daughters’ provider and protector. Many kids do not have this luxury. Many children do not even know their fathers. Some parents want nothing to do with their children. Many kids are in foster care. Others may live with grandparents. Kids simply want someone to care and pay attention to them. They are looking for that person to hold them accountable.
Clean your plate before you watch the rest of your movie.
Brush your teeth.
Your curfew is 10:00 PM.
You have to study for that test.
Go to be early and get plenty of rest.
Some kids roll their eyes at such commands. Love and affection satiate this type of kid. They want for nothing. They are full.
The other type of kid starves for love and affection. The neglect they feel is indescribable. They feel like that lone stepping stone.
After so much mental abuse, and possibly physical abuse, kids enter the school setting already behind the eight ball. They are behind, tired, hungry, and frustrated. They want to make connections with others, but they do not know how. The student reaches out to form connections, but sometimes people’s efforts are not reciprocal. They then resort to friends who do not have their best interests at heart. They form bad habits. The student strives for attention whether it might come from a positive or negative light. The vicious cycle that they were born into leads them to the same lackluster pit of bad decisions and regret.
A Changing of Seasons
One spring, I received the poem above entitled Stepping Stone from one of the students I just described. He explained to me that many people misunderstood him, and as a result, he wanted to share this poem with anyone willing to read to clear the air as to why some students may be unpleasant. He told me he had felt like a stepping stone his entire life. Others in his life had always put themselves first and he felt so used and unappreciated. As I made eye contact with him, he began to sob.
As a teacher, as a person, what advice can I offer such a lost soul?
The first thing is what I always tell my daughters. Two simple words. Probably easier said than done, but so important, nonetheless. NEVER SETTLE.
1.) You are important.
2.) You are a great person.
3.) You have great things to contribute.
Never settle for anything but the best in regard to relationships and choices just to have a sense of belonging.
Secondly, there is HOPE. Never feel your situation is a hopeless one or that things will never get better. Just as spring brings new life, there is a new life for you, but you must stay hopeful, take action, and continue to work to make the best of your situation.
Lastly, have faith in knowing that I AM HERE FOR YOU! Talk to me. I will check on you to make sure you are OK. I love you like I love my own kids. Don’t be of the mindset that no one cares for you. I DO!
In conclusion, did I help the student that day? I am not sure. However, one thing I do know is that by the end of our conversation his tears were dry, and he had a smile on his face. That cracked stepping stone he wrote about may still be brittle, but hopefully he has a clearer path for where he is heading in the future.